neither here nor there...

Does that equal nowhere? Dunno.

I have about five paintings up on Ebay right now and one tiny bid. It looks like everyone is getting some used mulch from the neighbor's yard in their stockings this year...that's all I'll be able to afford. ;-)

If you so choose, click on the Ebay link on the right sidebar --> that-a-way.

Leaving my former profession behind cold turkey has been really hard. I entered into a life of no comfort zones and no safety nets. Doing the art show on top of all that nearly sizzled my last few synapses.

My internship at the vet school has highlighted a lot of my personal weaknesses (oh, I mean learning opportunities) related to being assertive. It's a very chaotic atmosphere with constantly changing schedules and you are swimming in a sea of left-brainers. No, I mean REALLY left-brainers.

When I am fairly confident of what I know, I have a much better time being assertive, but being a brand-spanking-new social worker I find it hard to be as assertive as I need to be. I think some of that is a perfectionism problem--and I need to get over that if I am going to stay in this field. The internship is also very isolating in that you are not allowed to make friends per se. Being that everyone is a potentional client (vets, vet students and owners) you have to maintain a professional distance at all times. I don't have a problem with that, not being the social butterfly sort, but it gets isolating and lonely. I have to be careful to not let that feeling perpetuate into other areas.

And the holidays are tugging at my heart. Last year I was distracted from Daddy's absence by major surgery. This year it's just me, the holidays, and one less family member. Grief can come in waves. Right now I'm caught in the undertow.

Last Thanksgiving I put a piece of pumpkin pie on Daddy's grave. I decided to not do that this year. For some reason it's just too painful this time.

My job working with older people is going fine, but slow. The folks I am working with mostly live alone...and many of them will not have family around during the holidays. You can hear the intense loneliness in their voices when they talk to you about it. If you have an older family member, please take time to include them in some way...even if it's just a phone call to tell them you are thinking about them.