A message from the unemployed...

Being unemployed since April has been a challenge, a tragedy, a blessing, and just a weird experiment in the journey of life. I've never been unemployed since graduating college in 1988, then after I changed my career to social work, bam--here I am. I find it odd that a support service like marketing is 100 times more stable than something like social work. And when I look in the paper, marketing jobs abound...social work almost nothing and half of those are with scary, dysfunctional agencies no one wants to work for...

The things I miss about work: helping people, being intellectually challenged, feeling useful and needed, money, having structure in my life, seeing friends and colleagues, getting OUT. Things I don't miss about work: getting up early, being stressed out, having to get up and out when I'm sick as a dog, not getting to enjoy the outdoors-especially mornings.

Things I will miss when I go back to work: sleeping in, not worrying about staying up late, not necessarily having to get dressed up or put make-up on, shopping in off hours, having lunch with my mom whenever I want to, spending more time with my husband (he works out of the house), and probably most of all-getting to spend time with my animals. I have become a lot more bonded with my dogs, Petey and Pepper. Pepper has gotten a lot more confident since I've been off. She's gotten more consistency and guidance and that has changed her for the better. She's still a nervous, high-strung, anxious dog, but she's a lot better and I think that's because she's had a lot more time with her mama. I tend to be the most "consistent" of the puppy parents and that helps any anxious dog. Petey has just gotten more cuddly with me. He was previously cuddly mainly with my husband.

I am hoping to get a part-time job with benefits and maybe do a little private practice. I also hope I get to stay very involved in veterinary social work. It's kind of an odd field, and more challenging than one would think. I find it the hardest work I've done so far. I'm not sure how to explain that just yet.

Being unemployed has riddled me with anxiety and doubt at times, and has given me a sense of getting a wonderful break at other times. I haven't done anything I thought I would do (all those huge projects you never have time for), but when else are you going to not work for months at a time other than getting laid off? I have to work at not feeling guilty and at times have thoroughly enjoyed it. Like now, my eyes are getting heavy, Pepper is laying beside me on the couch cleaning her paws. The washer is humming downstairs, and it's rainy outside. I'll probably take a little nap. How sweet is it to take a mid-morning nap? Pretty sweet. It will be really hard to get my sleep schedule back on track but I think that's the least of my worries.

So, someone...hire me. It's time for me to go back to work (plus my severance package just ran out...ha).

cat nightmares...

(obviously I am bored and still not sleepy)...

...but I had to write this down. Peanut is asleep behind my head on the couch and he is having a kitty nightmare of sorts. He is growling and hissing in his sleep. Now, I have seen plenty of dogs dream, woof, and growl while dreaming, but I don't think I have ever seen a cat be than demonstrative while dreaming. I've seen paws twitch and such, but well, that was just funny. I moved and he startled awake, his big green eyes a little glazed from being ripped from his nocturnal adventures. He was fighting with someone - probably beating up Yuki - that's usually who is pouncing on his during the day.

I'm still hungry.

can't sleep...

It's late but I'm not sleepy. Pepper and I are watching some tube and I'm on the laptop writing drivel. Storming outside. More frickin' rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Pepper opens her eyes and looks at me when the thunder erupts..."everything okay mama? ok, back to sleep now." Fortunately neither of our dogs are scared of storms.

Pepper has a favorite chair...it's really her chair now. Petey just hops on top of the back cushion of the couch and makes a "beagle nest." The pillows are destroyed from all his daily "nesting." We never were the types to keep our animals off the furniture - we like to cuddle with them too much. Maybe that's a weakness or a bad habit, but I would hate it if they couldn't schoochie up to us for some special scratches and hugs.

*stares off into space* tick-tock...tick-tock...

Now I'm hungry.