feasting on the beasts?

The Knoxville Zoo has a great fundraiser called Feast with the Beasts. Nearly 40 area restaurants are setting up in the zoo to serve up their best fare for Beast guests. The event is featured in the local CityView magazine and the pub devotes a lot of space to the participating vendors. I have heard of this event for years and never really thought much about it, but as I flipped through the vendors, I saw page after page of close-up photos of filets, tips, ribs, etc. How ironic is this?

So, these well-bred charitable types will get all dressed up and go dine on marinated dead animals to raise money for the captive ones who look on. “Hey Bobo, sorry I’m eating your distant cousin over here, but DAMN he’s good with this southern-style bar-b-que sauce! Mmmmm--mmmmmm! Can I have me some fried ‘taters with that?!”

Everyday it strikes me that we are the only natural species that chooses to kill despite the fact that we do not need to in order to survive. Even worse, we kill for sport. The only other species I know of that will kill for reasons other than sustenance is the domestic dog.

Today’s Bitch Slap…
goes to the folks who refuse to stop using the expression “12noon.” There is NO REASON TO DO THIS…EVER. Noon is ALWAYS 12 p.m. Just say “noon.” Or, for God’s sake, you can say 12 p.m. if you can’t let go of the numbers. It’s OK. People will understand. Even people with a 6th grade education have seen a couple of spaghetti westerns where they snarled out the term “high noon.” It was hot. The sun was directly above them… If I have to edit that out of a newsletter one more time, I’m going to poke my eyes out with cocktail forks.

An Extra TWO Bitch Slaps…
go to me:

for not catching “in mass” before my editor got hold of the copy. “En masse” is the proper term, of course. Yea, verily, I was embarrassed and rightly so.

for gaining back all TWENTY pounds I lost last year. I was parading around in an 8 last year. Arrrr-r-r-r-rgh!