Wednesday, February 22, 2006

puppy dog tails...

It just seems like yesterday we brought little Miss Sadie home. She was so excited--she sat between us on the arm rest shaking all over, waiting to see where she was going.

She's been a darling and a devil; headstrong and loving; hateful and disarming. You'd think she was a person.

My baby girl is starting to go downhill. A couple of nights ago I wiped her eye and her tears were bloody. She still seems comfortable, but her eyes aren't an amber brown...they are darker. Her body is not reabsorbing all the blood that's leaking from the tumors and she is starting to swell some as well. I'd sell the house to give her surgery, but it's not possible. My heart aches every time I look at her. She's lived a good life though and we have loved her dearly, even when she was quite naughty--and she excelled at naughty sometimes. I know she is fading, but she still acts cheerful and happy; still puts wild effort into unstuffing her toys and barks like mad at the garbage men. She's just getting a little stiff and a little weak. It takes her a while to get up the stairs now. Day by day we keep watch over her and make sure she is comfortable. The only thing that makes dogs imperfect is that they don't live long enough.

This weekend is the first anniversary of Daddy passing away so it's, well, not a great time to worry about losing another beloved friend or family member. We'll just hang in there.

My doc put me on a new beta-blocker to control my tachycardia which really, really helped me out; not to mention bringing my BP down 30 points immediately. I was really starting to feel like a nervous wreck with my heart rate and BP staying so high. I'm really making an effort to shed some extra pounds and eat really healthy.


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