Sunday, February 26, 2006

A Must See...

This lightened my heart today-one year today after Daddy's passing...

I'm quite sure Daddy would have thought this clip hilarious. He had a distinctive snicker when he thought something was really funny. If it was humorous enough he would eventually erupt into laughter. This would have made him laugh out loud...

Patches the Horse

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

puppy dog tails...

It just seems like yesterday we brought little Miss Sadie home. She was so excited--she sat between us on the arm rest shaking all over, waiting to see where she was going.

She's been a darling and a devil; headstrong and loving; hateful and disarming. You'd think she was a person.

My baby girl is starting to go downhill. A couple of nights ago I wiped her eye and her tears were bloody. She still seems comfortable, but her eyes aren't an amber brown...they are darker. Her body is not reabsorbing all the blood that's leaking from the tumors and she is starting to swell some as well. I'd sell the house to give her surgery, but it's not possible. My heart aches every time I look at her. She's lived a good life though and we have loved her dearly, even when she was quite naughty--and she excelled at naughty sometimes. I know she is fading, but she still acts cheerful and happy; still puts wild effort into unstuffing her toys and barks like mad at the garbage men. She's just getting a little stiff and a little weak. It takes her a while to get up the stairs now. Day by day we keep watch over her and make sure she is comfortable. The only thing that makes dogs imperfect is that they don't live long enough.

This weekend is the first anniversary of Daddy passing away so it's, well, not a great time to worry about losing another beloved friend or family member. We'll just hang in there.

My doc put me on a new beta-blocker to control my tachycardia which really, really helped me out; not to mention bringing my BP down 30 points immediately. I was really starting to feel like a nervous wreck with my heart rate and BP staying so high. I'm really making an effort to shed some extra pounds and eat really healthy.

Thursday, February 16, 2006


I had to go home early today because my heart started racing at lunch and wouldn't calm down. Now, I do have something called inappropriate sinus tachycardia (uh, which means my heart beats really fast), but it doesn't usually bother me so bad I feel like I am going to come out of my skin, but today it did and I had to call it quits early this afternoon. I came home, took my BP which was about 140/100 with a HR of nearly 120 laying down. After 2 hours of resting and napping I finally got my BP down to near normal and my HR down to 90, which unfortunately is pretty normal for me. I changed my BP meds this week so I'm going to give the doc a call to see if these strange variations in BP and HR are something to be concerned about. All in all a miserable day, but beautiful, warm and sunny outside as a consolation.

just in case you forgot women are good for just one thing...

Way to go ladies. Gosh, just when we thought it was about the sport...dummy me. Wet dreams come pun intended.

Monday, February 13, 2006

cheesy jelly beans...

When you get past 40 you can't ignore things anymore. For example, when my doctor called me about last week's blood test results: total cholesterol 255; LDL (the bad cholesterol) 158 and triglycerides 180. The 255 number is really bad and the other two are borderline numbers.

How does a vegetarian get high cholesterol? One word--cheese. Everything I eat is smothered in cheese. If it doesn't have cheese, I don't want to eat it. Now, I have been backed into a sharp cheddar corner with no where to go. Don't tell me to eat fat-free cheese--that only qualifies to fill nail holes in your wall.

My beloved cheese and all its fatty components are going to have to be rationed like nuggets of 24 karat gold. Some people can't give up caffeine, cigarettes and alcohol. I can't give up cheese.

I've thought about writing the Jelly Bell-y company and asking them to make a Vermont sharp cheddar jelly bean so I could have a taste of good cheese now and then.

This feels like quitting smoking all over again. I need a patch, cheese gum, cheese jelly beans...some sort of cheese substitute. It is my chocolate, my main food group, my elixir, my friend.

But, cheese, you betray me! Oh, how you betray me!

So, the assignment is to lose 20-30 lbs, get back to an exercise routine, cut out fatty foods and get rechecked in six months. I'm going to get a jump start with NutriSy5tem in hopes I can get motivated with a little weight loss.

Heart attack and stroke does run on my mother's side of the family, so this ain't no joke. It's got to be done and it has to stay that way. Pfffft.

Has anyone seen "House of the Flying Daggers?" We watched the DVD yesterday---damn! what a depressing movie! Gawd!

That and the cheese thing--I mean, man, I'm gonna lose it.

But I do have a couple of paintings up finally. I hope they do okay. It's nice to get something back on Ebay.

Hope y'all have a great day.

PLEASE ALSO VISIT THE HORSE SLAUGHTER BLOG. THE USDA HAS CIRCUMVENTED CONGRESS' WISHES TO PREVENT HORSE SLAUGHTER. It's an ugly reminder of our society's method of madness--all predicated upon the loophole. It's a stinky hole.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

It's February again

Today was a sad day. The land that Daddy lived on for nearly 30 years is no longer in our family. The house he built from the ground up, the outdoor fireplace, the many wooded trails, the Zoysia grass he sewed, the bird feeders he built, the apple grove he planted--is no longer ours. I always loved the apple trees--he had figured out how to graft different varieties together on one tree, which always impressed me. He also had a pear and peach tree as well as grapes, raspberries, blackberries and muscadines. His neighbors bought the land which is good and we teared up and hugged before leaving. They will take good care of Daddy's place and invited us to visit it any time we want. I suppose it was a best case scenario, but I wish we could have kept it...there were reasons for that I can't go into here.

I wanted to eat lunch with my brother and my mom after the business had been completed but I had to rush back to work for a meeting no one showed up for. Normally it wouldn't have aggravated me, but I needed to be with my family.

This week has not been easy. I'm very tired from surgery, depressed about the land being sold--on the cusp of the first anniversary no less--and I'm trying reorient myself to my regular job and to a new internship job as well. I'm developing ADD very quickly...I'm sure I'll get the fog out of my head as things get settled down a bit. I hope.

I hope Daddy isn't disappointed we sold his place. It really was beautiful there with a view of the mountains and at night a clear view of the heavens--away from all the city's lights. The night they discovered his body we were waiting outside in the bitter cold waiting for the rescue crew to bring him out of the woods. It was flurrying, but part of the sky was cloudless and that's when I saw the largest, brightest shooting star I have ever seen. Perhaps a postcard from Heaven.

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