Thursday, April 01, 2004


Today I get recognized for fifteen years of service to my company. Fifteen-that's a teenager. Fifteen-that's um, three times five. Uh. Anyway.

I started working at this company in 1989. I've held many positions, but they've always been within the marketing/advertising/PR departments. I've had the titles of editor, coordinator, director, manager and general idiot pasted on my badge (okay, one of those titles isn't real--c'mon the LAST one--sheesh). I am hoping I will only be here one more year. The finish line year. The transitional year. The year of gnashing of teeth. Okay, that's dramatic.

So, I get to go to a luncheon where my boss will get up and say a few words. Hrm. I think these things are useless. Give me money. Plus, they will make no concessions for a vegetarian lunch. I asked about it and the event coordinator said "oh I don't know what the menu is but I'm sure they'll have some vegetables and salad--they always do." You know what went through my mind at that point? Fuck you. That's right, I said a wordy-durd. I am slowly becoming a belligerent vegetarian. Tennessee is NOT a vegetarian-friendly state. There's a couple places that know how to serve vegetarian fare, but for the most part this is meat-n-taters country honey! You gotta' be a Baptist, pig-feet eatin' kinda gal around here. Dear God, please bless this cow intestine casserole I am about to consume. I'm not asking for much, just to make sure that after FIFTEEN YEARS OF SERVICE, that at MY CELEBRATORY LUNCH, I get to eat something besides a buttered piece of stale bread and a cup of green beans. Bah. I'm going to wear a sandwich board that says "Bite me, I'm meatless." I not a meat-eater-hater (my husband is a meat-eater), but I just want to be able to eat something without meat in it.

Whatever. I do like green beans though. I wonder if they'll have green beans? (Seasoned with bacon fat I'm sure.)

Update for above: Yes, I now feel like an ungrateful bitch. Which I am sometimes, like today. I really had fun, ate about a pound of delicious asparagus that didn't taste like bacon grease and my boss, who is WAY too nice to me, said some really nice things about me and my work. Sometimes I am brutally moronic. *smack, smack* Snap out of it! I wonder if being an ungrateful bitch is hereditary? Well, you know I told my boss just how awesome she is and how much I appreciate her flexibility and support. And I do.

And, if you'll notice, the Yack-O-Meter has slowed down tremendously. I started feeding the kitties Purina One Sensitive Stomach and everyone is gaining weight and keeping their food where it belongs--in the tummy or in the litter box. We only had one puke yesterday and I think that was from getting a chicken soup treat from my husband. I was feeding them Science Diet Sensitive Stomach and they hated it--not to mention that is was more than twice the price. Mama likes fat kitties; yes, she does.


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