Monday, May 15, 2006

the incredible, re-edible egg...

I'm on a diet of sorts, so I eat a nice little wad of protein in the morning--usually eggs.

So, I'm munching on scrambled eggs on the way to work (don't ask me how I manage that in a MINI--it would produce another entry and I'm far too lazy today to do such a thing) and I get choked. in the egg went the wrong way, willfully ignoring all road-signs to the stomach, and lodged into some esophegeal rest stop with inadequate lighting.

"Hoark! Gag! Cough! Snort! I sipped my Diet Coke in an effort to get the wayward chunk to dislodge, but no luck.

MINI and I lurched down the street as my most primitive bodily functions went into a display worthy of never getting a second date had I been on a first.

Unattractive, that is.

Then it happened. I threw up. In my mouth.

And I had to make a choice - the MINI or my stomach. Not yet bathed in bile, I made the split-second decision to get it back where it belonged.

I gulped and I thought my heart would stop because I DO NOT THROW UP. And I most certainly don't swallow it back down when I do. But I did and I couldn't believe I was able to do it.

After three more miles of lurching, missing gears, gagging and pulling off the road I finally regained some sense of composure; dried my face drenched by my watering eyes and hoped I didn't pass anyone I knew.

And that's how I started out my day.

Aren't you glad I shared? Me, too.


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