Grayson

Goodbye precious Grayson

We had to say goodbye to our 15 year old kitty Grayson. I was with him when he was put to sleep this evening around 6 pm. He passed peacefully. Praying angels are watching over him now--he was some of God's finest work. Aching.
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...still waiting...

 

Poor Grayson is still at the vet and will stay another night. His bloodwork hasn't come back yet. I am not as worried as I was, but I just don't know what's wrong with my little guy.

My mom has a breast biopsy tomorrow to boot. I am trying to not think about that at all. I'll be with her, but I'm trying to not get panicky over all those possibilities. I am very close to my mom. After losing my dad in 2005, I am paranoid about anything happening to her.

And still waiting to hear back from the folks I have been interviewing with. I've lost one opportunity through no fault of my own (it's a long story) and I'm hoping this other one won't fall through as well. It's been about 140 or so days since I've been laid off and I'm starting to get a little antsy over it all.

Plllbbbbbbtttttt. Say a kitty prayer and one for my mom, too, while you're at it. :-)

say a little kitty prayer...

Poor Grayson is at the vet.
He has been getting more and more disoriented over the past couple of days and I asked the vet to squeeze him in today. They are keeping him overnight for fluids and checking bloodwork. Not really sure what is going on with my little old man. He's 15 and the last of the original crew of kitties we adopted. Hopefully we will hear something tomorrow.

Settled in after a bath

Pepper settles in for the football game after a bath. She's always exhausted afterward!
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dishes, be washed!

The dishwasher dude came and performed his miracle and left. So far the kitchen is not flooded. Now if the other dude would come to fix my fire-hazard-recalled range!

Well, this is fun...

NOT. I've been waiting all day for two separate repairmen to come and fix 1) my new (but past warranty) dishwasher, and 2) my recalled oven. They were supposed to call this morning to give me a time (which has not happened). So here I sit. If I were working right now I would be having an unholy fit about it. Customer service appears to be a thing of the past.

Nero and Gizmo

Last weekend I transported some pups part of the way to their new forever homes. These families are going to be some lucky people. Both dogs are just super!! Nero is a husky mix and Gizmo is a Catahoula Leopard puppy. Both saved thanks to Bonnie Blue Rescue. :-)

...Ingredients

My recipe calls for a little more heart and a little more bravery. Seems like I was a little short on both today. Hopefully my energy will be better tomorrow.
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A message from the unemployed...

Being unemployed since April has been a challenge, a tragedy, a blessing, and just a weird experiment in the journey of life. I've never been unemployed since graduating college in 1988, then after I changed my career to social work, bam--here I am. I find it odd that a support service like marketing is 100 times more stable than something like social work. And when I look in the paper, marketing jobs abound...social work almost nothing and half of those are with scary, dysfunctional agencies no one wants to work for...

The things I miss about work: helping people, being intellectually challenged, feeling useful and needed, money, having structure in my life, seeing friends and colleagues, getting OUT. Things I don't miss about work: getting up early, being stressed out, having to get up and out when I'm sick as a dog, not getting to enjoy the outdoors-especially mornings.

Things I will miss when I go back to work: sleeping in, not worrying about staying up late, not necessarily having to get dressed up or put make-up on, shopping in off hours, having lunch with my mom whenever I want to, spending more time with my husband (he works out of the house), and probably most of all-getting to spend time with my animals. I have become a lot more bonded with my dogs, Petey and Pepper. Pepper has gotten a lot more confident since I've been off. She's gotten more consistency and guidance and that has changed her for the better. She's still a nervous, high-strung, anxious dog, but she's a lot better and I think that's because she's had a lot more time with her mama. I tend to be the most "consistent" of the puppy parents and that helps any anxious dog. Petey has just gotten more cuddly with me. He was previously cuddly mainly with my husband.

I am hoping to get a part-time job with benefits and maybe do a little private practice. I also hope I get to stay very involved in veterinary social work. It's kind of an odd field, and more challenging than one would think. I find it the hardest work I've done so far. I'm not sure how to explain that just yet.

Being unemployed has riddled me with anxiety and doubt at times, and has given me a sense of getting a wonderful break at other times. I haven't done anything I thought I would do (all those huge projects you never have time for), but when else are you going to not work for months at a time other than getting laid off? I have to work at not feeling guilty and at times have thoroughly enjoyed it. Like now, my eyes are getting heavy, Pepper is laying beside me on the couch cleaning her paws. The washer is humming downstairs, and it's rainy outside. I'll probably take a little nap. How sweet is it to take a mid-morning nap? Pretty sweet. It will be really hard to get my sleep schedule back on track but I think that's the least of my worries.

So, someone...hire me. It's time for me to go back to work (plus my severance package just ran out...ha).

Watching

Pepper watches and watches and watches...for anything that moves, breathes, makes noise... If she were a person I would definitely diagnose her with OCD. Now if she would only wash her paws...
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Petey is better :-)

Petey is doing much better today so we get to avoid the vet appointment for now. His leg is still a little tender, but he's tooling around pretty well today.

Sorry about the lousy mobile pic-I'm getting lazier and lazier about getting my camera out. I can't wait to upgrade my Blackberry in January - there's a much better camera in the new model I want. I hate crappy pictures!

Petey says, "Woof!"
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Poor Petey

Petey started limping this morning and it got progressively worse over the day. We wrapped his leg to cushion it until we can get him to the vet tomorrow. It's always something! The vet's office is my second home - really. Hopefully it is just a sprain and he won't wind up in a cast hobbling around.
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tapping fingers...

Still waiting to hear about a job. After three interviews with the same program I am still waiting. Granted, they did say they had a thorough hiring process, but geez. Being unemployed has taken a toll on my confidence and self-esteem. I know it will come back when I get my life rolling and structured again, but it can't come soon enough. You'd think being off for so long would be a gift-and it WAS-but now it's a drag and bringing me down. I don't get very much done despite having more time. My motivation has been waning the longer I go without a job.

So, hire me already!

Well, that didn't work...

I tried. Apparently my hunger for cuticles was greater...

I'm sitting in a parking lot; early for a THIRD interview for a social work position. Gawd, I'm tired of being unemployed! It has really affected my confidence and motivation.

I didn't sleep much last night so let's hope I don't fall asleep in the middle of it. ;-)

Well, I guess I'll go find a bathroom and mosey my way to my destination. Who knows, maybe I'll get an offer.

Ugh, here we go again. I hate interviewing.
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Nailing it

Painted my nails for the first time in EONS in a desperate attempt to stop chowing down on my friggin' cuticles. I know-exciting post.
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Hmm...

I haven't really found a layout I like...there's lots of customization to do. I'm not the nerd I used to be when I was working in communications! It takes me much longer to figure out how to change things now.

I'll be updating more...soon.

testing out new layouts

Don't mind the dust and broken links...just testing out new looks and formats...

One more time

I hope I can breathe some new life into HATamaran. Facebook has usurped many a blogger. And I have to admit that's where I spend most of my time now, too. We'll see. It's been kind of precarious here lately not having a job. I am needing to move forward. I hope to get back to updating regularly. Life has changed A LOT since this blog went stale a couple of years ago!


-- Post From My iTouch

I'm not dead, yet at least...

Approaching 100 days of being laid off. Some of it has been fun and some has been nerve wracking and depressing. Right now my plan is to go ahead and study foe licensure since my supervision period is up. Then I will have a better field of jobs from which to choose (I hope). We'll see. Right now I am fortunate enough to be doing some contracted veterinary social work, so that's been great and has lightened my heart. It will all turn out. I'm going to allow myself to have some faith in that.


-- Post From My iTouch

Petey is watching Pepper stalk the squirrels. He'd rather get pets from momma.
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Pete-o-rama

Nice morning. The humidity has finally become bearable. It's been so steamy lately. Pepper is out stalking squirrels as usual.
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message from the dogs...

Please Remember

1) My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you will be painful for me. Remember that before you buy/adopt me.
2) Give me time to understand what it is that you want from me.
3) Place your trust in me - it is crucial to my well-being.
4) Do not be angry with me for long, I won't remember why you're mad.
5) You have your work, your entertainment and your friends. I only have you.
6) Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when you are speaking to me.
7) Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
8) Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand but I choose not to bite you.
9) Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate or lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food or I've been out in the sun too long, or my heart is growing old and weak.
10) Take care of me when I get old. You too will grow old. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say "I can't bear to do this" or "let it happen in my absence." Everything is easier for me if you are there.
ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY!
- Author Unknown

window boxes

 

IMG00644.jpg

Petey isn't ready to get up just yet.
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Thomson Reuters News Pro story - Fox steals more than 100 shoes

Thomson Reuters News Pro user pratt.teresa@gmail.com wanted you to see this:

"Fox steals more than 100 shoes"

BERLIN (Reuters) - A fox has been unmasked as the mystery thief of more than 100 shoes in the small western German town of Foehren, authorities said Friday.

Oddly Enough

Reading this on your BlackBerry? Try the Thomson Reuters News Pro now by clicking http://Reuters.com/bb.

Petey

Duuuuuuude...
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REWARD LOST DOG IN KNOXVILLE TN

(This is a courtesy post to help out a family who lost a beloved pet in a terrible car accident)
REWARD/LOST DOG KNOXVILLE: Please help us locate our son's dog that disappeared tuesday night after he got into an accident just off of I-40. He has a large white
mane directly behind his neck dappled with black spots. His feet have some white and the tip of his tail is white. He weighs around 40lbs and is neutered. He answers to the name of "Puck". He is friendly and may or may not have a collar because he was freaked out from the accident so bad and my son was holding on to it when he got into the accident but thinks the collar may have slipped off. If it is, it will have "Sir Puck and my son's cell phone #. HE DOES HAVE A MICROCHIP. We have looked all over and my son is distraught because he is in the hospital and can't look for him. He was last seen around a Weigels somewhere between Cedar Bluff and Campbell Station just off the highway. Last seen at a Lovell Rd Shell gas station. If you see him, please try to get him for us. He will be hungry, distraught and lost without our son. If you can't get him please pass it on and let us know where you saw him. If you found him and are thinking of keeping him, please know that my son loves this dog more than life, literally and we will be eternally grateful to have him back. He had to choose between his life or the dogs that night. REWARD FOR HIS RETURN.

I think Petey has hung a "do not disturb" sign...

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New daylily popped out today. Pretty!

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Guess it was boring...

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Pepper trying to withstand my singing...

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Yuki snoozin' on my hand

Yuki is such a sweet blob.
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Petey and Pepper enjoying themselves

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A squirrel it is!

Yuki spots a squirrel on the "squirrel-proof" bird feeder.
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Every animal in the house...

Is napping. It's making me sleepy.
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Another lovely day

Pepper is enoying the nice weather. I wish my Blackberry took better pictures. It's so convenient to moblog. Alas, perhaps by the time I'm eligible for an upgrade they will have a model better than just 2.0 megapixels.

I need to do a massive clean-up in my studio but it's hard to relgate myself to the indoors when it's nice outside. It rained daily for so long I can't resist - plus who knows if I will ever have this "luxury" again? I actually have color in my face for once instead of my usual office pallor...
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Pepper enoying the sunshine

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Window boxes

The window boxes are looking nice. I cheated this year and got some healthy mixed hanging baskets, removed the flowers from the hanging pots, split open the root ball so they would be more rectangular and replanted them in the window boxes. I added some potting soil to fill in any holes - and voila! It looks like midsummer growth already. Sometimes cheating is good :-)
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Stella D'oro lillies

These lillies came from my father's house. After he died I dug some up and brought them to my garden. We talked about these lillies often - a very reliable variety. The begin blooming right before his birthday. It is a nice way to remember him.
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YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR PETS BEHIND IF YOU LOSE YOUR HOME

cha-ching

Mini's mishap with a dumbass driver translated into $3,400 worth of repairs. I will have to pay a $250 deductible, but it sucks to pay anything, considering all I was doing to was traveling down a turn lane.

I have been productive this morning as a newly unemployed person and did tons of weeding, trimming, and mowed the backyard with my new "green" lawnmower. I love it. It's not as precise as a smokin' loud mower, but it's really rather meditative as you whirr-r-r-r from one side of the yard to the other. It cuts regular grass great, but the longer, harder stemmed weeds usually bend under the cutter and pop back up after you pass by. I just go back and forth over one of those stubborn buggers until it catches in the cutters.

I just use it for the backyard where the dogs are - not as scary for them and you don't have the hassle of getting a big mower through the gates, etc. I just grab it and go whirrrrrrring. It's cute.

Waitin' for Papa to get home...

Now that my car is bashed and in the shop for who knows how long...it's me and the critters. And the to-do list.
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Murphy is after me...

Yesterday I went out for a 5 minute trip to the store and WHAM! I got hit by an old blue Mustang who promptly made a run for it. I wasn't hurt, but poor Smidget got sent to the shop again thanks to another dumbass driver. Obviously they didn't have insurance and apparently the tags weren't current and didn't belong to the car - didn't show up in any DMV records. This is the second time this year someone has hit me and wouldn't take responsibility for it. What is wrong with people these days? Gah. Sucks. Wonder what's next?
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cat nightmares...

(obviously I am bored and still not sleepy)...

...but I had to write this down. Peanut is asleep behind my head on the couch and he is having a kitty nightmare of sorts. He is growling and hissing in his sleep. Now, I have seen plenty of dogs dream, woof, and growl while dreaming, but I don't think I have ever seen a cat be than demonstrative while dreaming. I've seen paws twitch and such, but well, that was just funny. I moved and he startled awake, his big green eyes a little glazed from being ripped from his nocturnal adventures. He was fighting with someone - probably beating up Yuki - that's usually who is pouncing on his during the day.

I'm still hungry.

can't sleep...

It's late but I'm not sleepy. Pepper and I are watching some tube and I'm on the laptop writing drivel. Storming outside. More frickin' rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Pepper opens her eyes and looks at me when the thunder erupts..."everything okay mama? ok, back to sleep now." Fortunately neither of our dogs are scared of storms.

Pepper has a favorite chair...it's really her chair now. Petey just hops on top of the back cushion of the couch and makes a "beagle nest." The pillows are destroyed from all his daily "nesting." We never were the types to keep our animals off the furniture - we like to cuddle with them too much. Maybe that's a weakness or a bad habit, but I would hate it if they couldn't schoochie up to us for some special scratches and hugs.

*stares off into space* tick-tock...tick-tock...

Now I'm hungry.

stickin' it out...

Being laid off - sucks. Being laid off with endless days of rain - sucks even more. The dogs are couped up. I am couped up. We all need some sunshine and time to play in the yard.

It's hard to stay motivated when there are no new opportunities on the horizon. Mental health jobs are being cut left and right and being a social worker just short of being eligible for licensure really hurts because there are plenty of licensed people who've been laid off. It's an employer's market when it comes to getting good employees. A lot of people; not so many jobs.

You would think this would be a welcome vacation after 21 years of working, but it's more a battle against worry and uncertainty. I am to keep recreating myself, readjusting the plan, revitalizing...

The goal for this week is to clean up and reorganize my studio. It's truly a disaster.

Turn that damn light off...

Are you trying to tell me something Peanut?
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Are you sure you're comfortable?

Peanut sleeping away a rainy morning.
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Pretty Pepper

Here's my pretty girl. We're going to a Canine Confidence class next week. Woof.  

Ugh.

Being.unemployed is no fun, even with a severance package. Mental health services are being cut everywhere and there are precious few jobs to be had. Everyday I check for job listings and check leads to no avail. I am just short of being eligible for licensure which knocks me out of qualifying for 75 percent of jobs that are listed or available. It's been a week now and the first few days were nice but the worry is creeping in...

On a brighter note I am looking forward to next Saturday because I am taking Pepper to a Canine Confidence class. She is a very nervous shepherd and I really want to work on her socialization and confidence. She is such a smart dog - I hate not getting to share her wonderful personality with other people. She's only comfortable around close family and a very few friends. Our vet said German Shepherds have been so overbred that many of them now have fearful temperaments - yet another reason to avoid all backyard breeders and all "pet shops" who buy from puppy mills. Don't get me started on that!!

All for now...basically because I am already tired of QWERTYing on my Blackberry.

Woof.
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More Yuki

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Hello Yuki

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Yuki loves my closet - meow!

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Naptime already!?
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Naughty Peanut

Kitty on the counter beggin' for treats! Papa taught him that habit ;-)
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Countdown

As the days whiz by I get closer to being unemployed-being laid off after 20 years of service at my company. I have never been without a job and it sure does make me nervous. I have some severance if I can't be placed elsewhere in the company. Unfortunately, the jobs I qualified for have also been cut. And then there's the fact that really I have received zero assistance anyway.

Perhaps it's simply time to move on and start over with a new company.
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Hooray first clematis blooms!

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As soon as I sit up...

My little boy beagle Petey grabs my spot. I just went ahead and covered him up - he likes to be warm!
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