Monday, January 03, 2005

take me to lima...

No, not Peru, lima, as in lima beans. I ate a whole can of them at lunch. I feel my world moving forward at a pace faster than before. I know, TMI.

Rooney is not quite feeling spitooney just yet, but when I delivered his super-high-fiber-poopin'-fuel to the door during my lunch break today...lest his highness wait until the end of the day to get his colon rollin'--we ran out last night...he met me at the front door. That's spitooney behavior...pre-concrete-colon-Rooney-behavior. Yip! Yip! Dear Philanthropist footed the bill today for the $25 bag of food (available only from the vet, of course), with the rest applied to the remaining vet bill--thank you, again, whoever you are.

I got about two hours of sleep last night and rolled to and fro thinking about how to make ends meet, about how I can get Rooney to take a crap, and how I can stop Grayson from ripping his skin off. Yes, Grayson has joined in to provide extra angst by having an allergic reaction to the expensive food I bought to HELP his skin. Note, it said on the bag in large letters "Sensitive Skin" and yammered on about how the proteins used in the food are uniquely formulated for cats with food allergies and itching. Grayson was almost scab-free when I proudly set down the bowl of yummy brown crunchies. Then, poof! His cheeks and eyes got red and swollen and he launched a scratching campaign that left his neck bald and raw, his sides scabby and his right ear scratched up. I'm trying to get him squared away without creating another huge vet bill--sprays, wipes, aloe vera, change of food, etc. If he shows any signs of infection, I'll haul his hairy ass off to the vet, but I haven't tried everything--yet. I'm going to give him an colloidal oatmeal BATH tonight.

No, I do NOT jest.

The cat WILL receive an oatmeal bath. I shall prevail over the itch.

(By the way, I think my bloodtype is A-positive if you'd like to donate tomorrow.)

New Year's Report: Gave Rooney his twice-daily laxative and colon-moistener-upper-goo, stared at wall, attempted to catch snippets of television programs while husband sped through channels, stared at wall again to orient myself to a constant point, watched rented movie "Open Water," thought about throwing myself from a bridge afterward, drank really cheap red wine, toasted no one but felt pretty toasty, kissed some half-asleep man holding a remote who looked like my husband at midnight, placed pajamas on body, slept like limestone, woke up like gravel.

Tune in tomorrow for the Ralphie (and Manilow) report...


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