Thursday, October 09, 2003

look! da fog, da fog!

I am in a fog. I do NOT like fog. Quite simply, I'm overwhelmed. When I pick up a magazine, I have to put it back down because I know I should be picking up a textbook instead. When I pick up a textbook I think about how many pieces I need to make for the November art fair. When I work on creative projects I feel like I should have studied before spending time on art projects. When I try to knit and relax I think about how I should be felting instead of knitting so I put it back down. When I am at work, I think about how much studying I have to do and how many pieces I need to get done for the November art fair. When I'm on the toilet I think about how I've been avoiding my laundry and how I need to clean the house. When I'm in bed, I'm thinking about how much stuff I have to do at work, school and for the fair so I can't go to sleep. When I watch television I feel so guilty I pull the covers over my head. When I'm in the shower I think about how fat I've gotten because I can't get out the door to exercise because I have too much studying and fair pieces to complete at home. When I get up in the morning, I think about how behind I am at work and I hope I'll drown in the shower. And while all of that is going on I'm worried to death about money.

Well, ok, I don't really hope to drown in the shower, but that's how my life has been. I'm the quintessential deer in the headlights--except I think I've been run over a few times. I don't know how I keep getting back up. I do know that it would be good to GET OUT OF THE ROAD. And that's what I'm going to think about now.


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