hurrah for the heart!

My uncle did very well! We are so happy. He was originally scheduled for a triple by-pass, but they did a quadruple instead. I talked to my aunt last night and she sounded exhausted. I also talked to my cousin Susan...I haven't spoken to her in 15 years! It was good to talk with her. We always kept up with each other through our moms, but hadn't talked in a long time. She sounds just like her "mahm"--heh, the crazy northern accent.

Her first husband was abusive and she and her young son narrowly escaped being killed by him. They were finally separated and he lured them to his house saying that there was a medical emergency. He was waiting for them with a shotgun. They somehow got away, but he still shot himself. It was a gruesome, horrible event. Her son, who is in his teens now, is still a very angry, distant kid. I wish they would seek therapy for him so he can work his issues out. No kid can absorb such an event. You think those things don't happen to people you know, but they do. She's now married to a good man who loves her dearly.

People wonder why these women don't leave abusive men and the reason is that they fear more for their lives if they leave than if they stay. I remember attending a seminar last year about domestic violence and these men (and some women) would be more violent if the partner left. Murder happened more often when they did leave. Most of us can't fathom the cruelty of these people. Many of them torture the partner's pets, threaten to kill children--anything to control the other person with fear. It's total emotional and physical terrorism.

I was recently on an animal abuse task force in the area that looked at the link between domestic abuse and animal abuse and the link is rather strong. The goal of the task force was to find ways to link animal protection agencies with police and human service agencies. When you go to a house that has an abused dog, there's a much higher chance of domestic abuse in that household. Instead of an animal protection officer logging a report and going on to the next call, a broader report would be generated that alerted other agencies about the high risk household. There's much more to what they are doing, but basically they're trying to tighten up the gaps in information that can help agencies prevent abuse. I could tell you stories that would turn your stomach.