that was TOO glum

I had little very glum poem on here and it was so damn glum I took it off. We'll save that bloody drivel for the paper-based memoirs, eh? So, sorry if you got sideswiped before I deleted it.

SO,

let's talk about hemorrhoids. Did you know that there's a $350,000,000 a year market for hemorrhoid products and that 50 percent of the 50-plus population will need these products? (read: invest now, the baby boomers are coming and they're itching...)
Read the whole poop.
Personally, I think there's evolution at work here...I mean, if 50 percent of the population over 50 has 'roids, then what does that mean? Have we always had this terrible prevalence of anus itching, or is it because we are so full of shit? Fuller than we were 100 years ago? Fuller than 1000 years ago? Perhaps, we are merely pooping more because we consume more. One-thousand years from now we may all have to wear hemorrhoid support belts or ice-packs on our poop-chute. I'll let you ponder the terrible, terrible consequences. Personally, I'm going to down a glass of orange-flavored Metamucil.
*Darwin turns over in his grave*