multi-tasking with snot...

Ah, there's nothing better than multi-tasking with a bad cold. Not only can I blow snot from my nose, but from my tear ducts as well. Gosh, it's great feeling to be so talented. Why I came into work I'll never know because I can hardly string a sentence together. Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down. There's the level I'm operating at. And, oh boy, I get to go to school tonight, too, where I'll hack, sneeze, blow my nose and talk like a diseased frog for three hours. I can't wait. But I can't disappoint my public because my public loves me. *snort* Just think, if I sneeze hard enough, I might also accidentally fart--something that could send the entire classroom into a psychological tailspin. What a social experiment that might be...would they laugh? Would they say nothing, but privately snicker? Would they feel sorry for me or crinkle their noses in disgust? What if I got tickled and started to laugh so hard myself that I continued to fart uncontrollably?

Can you tell my expectations are pretty low for the day?

It could be far worse. Where's the escape button on this ride?